Ingratitude

I got a letter from the Dean of my college today. This is how it went:

"Dear Jia,

Congratulations on the exceptional academic record you have compiled for the first semester of your freshman year. I am sure that your grades result from sound study habits, hard work, and consistent effort.

Please know how important it is to have a cadre of students who set a standard of academic excellence for the College. I am pleased that your name is part of this list, and I look forward to your continuing success during your four years at Sewanee.

My congratulations!"


Yeah, so I made the Dean's List. Woohoo. Haha, I guess I should sound more excited, and I was, until I re-read the part of the letter that went "Please know how important it is to have a cadre of students who set a standard of academic excellence for the College." That irritated me some. They're telling ME how important it is for THEM to have ME on the list??? That sounds like saying that ME being on the list is THEIR effort, as if they had no other choice.

Whatever. I guess I'm nitpicking here. Only it's during times like these when I remember that Sewanee dropped from 34 to 45 on the college rankings this year. Almost makes me feel as if they lured me here with a huge scholarship just to boost their rankings. It reminds me of a time when I told a fellow student my SAT scores and he shook his head and said, "You shouldn't be here." What a blow to my confidence. But I suppose that's not an unexpected reaction. If you knew my SAT scores and current GPA (not telling) you'd probably tell me same thing as well. *sigh*

But then I think some more and realize how lucky I am to be here. Sewanee's really a great place, regardless of the rankings. Challenging courses, great professors, good facilities, and a big huge whopping financial aid package. I guess I just have an overinflated sense of self-importance.

It's just that when I hear of people getting into high ranking universities and colleges I feel a twinge of....envy. Maybe even jealousy.

I'm ashamed of my ingratitude.